Will miss him...........

The last time I wrote, I was still with the man that I met four years ago. As of this past Friday, we are no longer together. I ended my love affair with him. He may never understand why I did what I did, some day maybe we can talk. I am still very much in love with him and care very deeply for him.

My life changed considerably when I met him..............made me feel loved...wanted....cared for...needed and beautiful.

My life has changed even more since I have ended things with him.......miss him already.....

Baby - for what it is worth - I will love you forever...............Always know what I had with you was very real to me.

I Love You Baby

Last month it has been four years since I met the person that captured my heart.

I am still with him.....still love him......still in love with him.

I wonder everyday if there will be a future for us.....where we are going......where will we be.

For now still have to take it day by day by day.............

This Sums It All Up.....

"When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew." -- William Shakespeare

Say It All The Time

I want to say it all the time. Everytime I talk to him, when I see him and when I say goodbye to him. Can you guess what it is? If you guessed saying I Love You - You are correct! However, I only feel lately that I should say it when he says it, usually when we are making love, or when one of us wants to make love or the one of us is feeling insecure. Why is that - no clue.

So - for all the times I want to say it and I dont - I LOVE YOU!!!

I Can't & I Can

I can't win. I can't say or do anything to make the man I am in love with believe that I don't want anyone else but him. I wish - WISH - HE WOULD BELIEVE ME!

I can always tell when he feels hurt or is upset with me or upset about something. How? When I talk to him on the phone, he has a coldness in his voice, he will make popping noises with his mouth, he is very quiet and when we say goodnight when I talk to him on his way home, he does not say I Love You or Love You.

I feel the tension - I do not like it - wish he would understand and believe me and believe in me.

Promises.......

Promises.......I believe everyone has different definitions of promises. However, when I make a promise I ALWAYS stick to my promises. I made a lot of promises to the man I am in love with last Friday and I will stick to all the promises I made.
December 31, 2007 - a promise was made to me for 2008 - I was promised things would get better for "us" next year. Why wouldnt I believe the man I am in love with - especially when he was laying next to me crying and holding me. Do I still believe in him - you bet - am I still holding him to his promise - you bet - only four more months in 2008 - will the promise come through?

A HUGE 8 Ball

Boy oh boy.....it sure seems the 8 ball is always getting bigger and bigger keeping us apart. It really sucks and hurts. Hopefully something will change soon, keeping my fingers crossed.